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Craptacular Crap Keeper's story

I am a hoarder. I don't know why I have a very difficult time parting with possesions. It's got to be a control thing, and some left over scars from my childhood.

I keep EVERYTHING. every. stinking. thing. I have way more stuff than I should at age 22. I have broken teasets from my childhood. junior high yearbooks full of horrible launguage. every script for every play i was in or thought about being in. Every paper I've ever written since the 4th grade. Every report card since the 1st grade. My preschool diploma. Every toy Jakob's ever had. All of his clothes since he was 12 months old. Old clothes of MINE that I'll never wear again, but cannot seem to part with. Old love letters from boyfriends I barely remember. I've got 5 broken cordless phones. Broken radio. Broken alarm clock. I've got bags and boxes of just CRAP. Most of it I haven't even LOOKED at in 6 years!

I feel if I get rid of something that I lose a piece of "me" a part of my memories. I feel if I keep all this stuff it allows me to have some sort of "control" over what my life USED to be like. I cannot keep all of this stuff. It sucks the energy and life from my soul seeing so much CRAP. And knowing that I'm responsible for maintaining, moving, and storing this CACK.

So today, I write to you all, more as a cathartic measure, to "confess" my secrets, and let them go. I will no longer carry every thing I've ever owned on my back. I will no longer have vast amounts of useless stuff weighing me down. I WILL NO LONGER ALLOW THESE MATERIAL POSSESIONS TO CONTROL ME AND DEFINE WHO I AM. Today, I start new. Armed with trash bags, and determination, I will rid myself of my demons. I will surround myself only with things I love, that are beautiful and make me happy. I will no longer be ashamed to open my cabinets, closets, garage and drawers or allow people into my home. I am baring my soul, cleaning out the corners of my heart. I will carry only my memories, not my possessions. I don't need to save and keep everything. I will carry my precious things in my heart. Not in boxes.

I realize how silly this probably sounds to non-hoarders.... But I really needed to get this out. I am so ashamed of all of my junk. and will not live in shame any longer.

Craptacular Crap Keeper [Today, I start new]