I confess!

The following is a light-hearted, spirited look at our collective rap sheet of mucky misdemeanours and filthy felonies. The grime offenders cheerfully confessed to a wide range of housekeeping transgressions, but pleaded "Not guilty!" However, one onlooker thought the plea should be Not guilty by reason of insanity, stating "I think you are all crazy if you consider those confessions". Other spectators in the court took notes amid cries of, "Cool! I never thought of that!".

Squalor Survivors: Permanent Record

• I confess I do not wash the pots and pans my daughter drags out of the cupboard to play with before we put them back in. OK, I blow on them, but I don't wash them.
• I confess I've thrown out perfectly good Gladware and Ziplock refrigerator containers because the food inside was so old and gross I didn't want to clean them out.
• I confess I'm the same with clothes sometimes that have a stain I didn't want to deal with, or are just plain muddy and gross. In the trash they go!
• I confess that I do not wash my walls, and never have. I sometimes spot clean fingerprints with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, but I have never wash a whole wall. Not even when I painted them. I just primed them with Kilz first.
• I confess that when I slop a little coffee on the floor, I mop it up with my sock...while I'm still wearing it. My older daughter actually found a cartoon of someone doing it and mailed it to me.
• I confess that I've gotten rid of not only tupperware containers and other items, but perfectly good appliances such as a crockpot and electric skillet because I didn't want to deal with cleaning them.
• I confess that I sometimes wear the same knickers a couple of days in a row if I can't find clean ones.

I confess when the doorbell rings, my daughter likes to go by the window to see who it is. But by now, she is used to me saying-"Get down, Get down"!!!!—as if we were being shot at or something!!!!! It's CRAZY to live like this!!!!!!!!! Donna

• I confess that I have thrown out four entire sets of pots and pans and china and silverware over the years when it came time to finally clean up and I didn't have time to deal with it.
• I confess I have thrown away countless clothes from the dirty clothes pile that could have been washed and donated to charity - but the kids had grown out of them while they were sitting out in the laundry room for months, so into the big trash bags they went.
• I confess I once took two days to dismantle an entire sofa so I could carry it bit by bit to the dumpster. I was too ashamed to let anyone else see its condition so I had to deal withit on my own. It had gotten spilled on and stained to the point it was too gross to deal with. I did this with bolt cutters, a hammer, a hacksaw and scissors. If you ever try to do something similar, beware the metal springs, the end will fly up and cut you on the face from the force of dislodging it if you aren't careful.
• I confess that I once found mushrooms growing in the bathroom of an old apartment years ago. For some reason there was wall to wall carpet in the bathroom and I had left damp towels on the floor around the base of the toilet. When the towels were removed, voila, mushrooms. Salad anyone?
• I confess that I have put dirty dishes into the oven to hide them when people called and were dropping by when the place wasn't too bad except for too many dishes stacked up. I also loaded up an empty upright freezer with dirty stuff and forgot about it until time to move. All that stuff ended up in the garbage.
• I confess that I have purchased the same item over and over and over and over and over at the store because I couldn't find it when time came to use it. I think I must have twelve to fifteen pairs of scissors around here somewhere.
• I confess to wrapping dirty plates with aluminum foil to have dinner without washing them first.
• I confess to, the last time I actually cleaned my kitchen, doing it with a SNOWSHOVEL.
• I confess to storing dirty dishes in the dishpan which was kept in the cupboard under the sink...I further confess that I didn't even know this was shocking until other people pointed it out.

I confess that I've had to call in sick once because I couldn't find my shoes and another time because I couldn't find my car keys.Heidi

• I confess that I threw away at least $100 in toys mere weeks after Christmas because we lost in squalor the small parts that make them run.
• I confess that most nights, I just fall asleep in my work clothes.
• I confess that I don't recycle because when I tried, the trash just kept building up.
• I confess that when I can't find the remote control, I go out and buy a new one rather than looking for it.
• I confess that instead of doing laundry, I've just gone out and bought more laundry baskets to keep it in.
• I confess I have eaten out of bowls and plates that haven't been washed up - because "they've only been there a day or two, and I was the last one to eat out of it". Needless to say, I have an iron-lined stomach.
• I currently have a collection of empty cigarette packets than can fill the entire state of Utah, stacked around my living room and kitchen.
• I have sprayed litter freshener and deodorant around the catbox for having friends around, just to hide the smell.
• I have had more than one dirty nappie lying around for more than a few days.
• I've found bags with stuff I bought months ago, then put the bag in the clutter and forgotten about it.
• I confess I've bought new underwear when I was out of clean ones instead of doing laundry.
• I confess I've had so many fruit flies in my kitchen and living room that for days I would quickly pass through the rooms into my bedroom and stay there - just to avoid the problem.

I confess to so many of the same things, and I confess that when I read about some I haven't done, I thought, "What a great idea!, I will do that next time!"puppy_box